The Reluctant Shopper

Over the past week or so I have been pushed to do something that I really despise: I am the designated shopper in my household.

Ivette has been sick for almost two weeks, and it got to the point where she could barely leave the house. She does all of our shopping, the only time I go to a store is to pick up something very specific, like a computer-related item, a book, etc. Before last week I was averaging less than one trip to the supermarket PER QUARTER.

Not anymore.

It only took me a day to figure out why I never go shopping: because I really despise it. I hate the parking lots, the stores, the crowded aisles, the merchandise selection, the checkout process, etc. Basically everything.

The worst thing is that no matter how much I insist, either Ivette can't put together a shopping list if her life depended on it, or she does and I can't find half of the things she asks for.Or worse, she won't believe me when I claim that I did not find the item:

Me: I couldn't find the Cascade dishwasher pellets with bleach.

Her: You sure?

Me: Yup, all I found was the ones with Dawn.

Her: Those are the ones you idiot!

Me: Nope, they said Dawn, not bleach.

Then two days later I found the real item: Cascade dishwasher pellets with bleach AND Dawn. Victory!

Then there's the weird. At Target there's this weird pecking order thing, for example during the afternoons women shoppers frown at men of working/married age shopping for household items. They look at you like you are some kind of intruder, or that you are doing something wrong, like keeping your woman chained to her bed, or worse.

Then there's the pharmacy. The moron that laid out the store did not allow for room for the two lines, so you spend most of your time moving back and forth to allow shopping carts to roll by. Yes, because everyone that walks into the store decides that she HAS to roll her cart thru the god damn pharmacy line even if she needs nothing from that corner of the store.